sour coating but sweet in the middle

Today i miss Keely, Joe and Sean. But I got sour watermelon for half the price from the vending machine, so it's okay. Sorry Keely, Joe and Sean your place in my life has been filled by sour, chewy goodness.
p.s. Keely has been out over a year whole moley.

to die by your your side is such a heavenly way to die

i will have a major by sunday. that is my goal. eeek. but it will happen. current ideas. meh:
(BA) Media Arts Studies(film), minor in international development.
(BS) Public Health: Epidemiology, minor in N.G.O (i think is what it's called..)
(BA) Comms: Advertising
(BA) Art Education K-12
(BA) Middle East Studies/Arabic, jk jk. i'm not jaydn. (nah, that wasn't funny to me either)
and i want to learn a language. maybe several. but we'll start with one. i'm thinking french cause it generally covers europe, canada, and africa. good place to start.

here's ideas. but i'm sure the major i'll pick isn't even on here yet based on my previous track record. welp, wadduya do

p.s. yeah, i decided industrial design is out...i think. (BA) in adventure is still in though

p.p.s. the title to this post is not as cynical as you think, it's actually lyrics to a love song. you should look it up. There is a Light That Never Goes Out by the Smiths.

p.p.p.s. this is my background right now. matt and me like twenty billion times! i know, i kinda makes me feel sick when i look at it too. i know, i'm silly. but i enjoy it greatly:) last matt post, swear.

That'll do.

Great night. Lovely music. New Friends. Food. I was in a pickle yesterday and most of the last month. Jonsi of Sigur Ros and Matt Costa were going to have shows the exact same night. Which did I pick? Beautiful Jonsi with his love earth and nature, life is beautiful man. Or beautiful sounding and looking Matt Costa with his lets drink, ride railroads, play harmonicas, trumpets, keyboard, drums, banjos and enjoy life as well type man. Originally I picked Matt Costa because Ally and I were going to go together. Then it fell through cause she unexpectedly had to work. What to do? I could still go to Matt Costa but I'd be by myself and i like to stay un-raped thanks. Or go to Jonsi, who's music I don't know as well but is from Iceland and the lead singer of Sigur Ros. Plus I'd have lots of people I knew to go with. I chose Jonsi but it was after several hours of debate and great sadness for missing Matt friend. We drove to Salt Lake listening to great tunes and enjoying wonderful company but a part of me was still sad. I couldn't win either way:( Then we walked up to the Complex to have a man say, "Jonsi, door to your left. Matt Costa, door to your right." After he tore they ticket and let me in. My thought, ".....Matt, only across a hallway. could I possibly...? No, it's too wonderful." but I did. I went to both. Half of Matt and half of Jonsi.


Jonsi was unlike any show I've ever seen. I was only there for part of it but that part blew my mind. To get the effect of the show, go into a room turn off regular lights, blast Jonsi, dress up like a bird, set up an intense light show and backdrop, imagine hundreds of blissful peopl...no. It's not possible. If you ever get the chance to go to a Jonsi show, do it. Unlike any other. Except Beyonce probably. Hers would be another mind blowing show that can't be imagined. Anywho, indescribable. Mind blowing. Life changing. And scene.


Matt Cost is just the total opposite end of the spectrum of Jonsi. Both are in good ways. Jonsi is kinda unhuman and Matt Costa is completely human and relatable. You know, in the way that he's not relatable at all because he's so talented and beautiful. I was standing there for one of his opening bands when a man walked past me. It was him and his wife. My hands started trembling and I started hyperventilating. When he opened he came in through the audience playing his guitar and harmonica just danced with the crowd. Every single member of his band is adorable and unbelievably talented. And his wifey was up there dancing and singing part of the time which was cute. So during the night I went to Matt Costa, then Jonsi, then back to Matt Costa for his last couple of songs. We left right as he ended cause we had to drive back to Provo and it was lattte. We walk out the door and who should be chilling just a few yards away before his encore but Matt Costa and his band. So I go, "Hey Matt?" (in a I need a favor type voice)
He goes, "Yeah, hey" (in his cool Matt Costa beautiful boy voice)
"Can I get a picture with you?"
"Yeah yeah sure."
Then he put his arm around me. Matt Costa. Yes. Then I started shaking I was so excited.
Sorry every other fan in there screaming for an encore, you had to wait longer so Matt could take a picture with his arm around me. No big deal.


Both shows, thanks.
Happy Joni.

p.s. if you think In and Out fries are nasty like I do, you should get them well done. They actually taste okay.

affect positively...

So after last night and the lovely show our neighbors probably were amused by, i need to read this again.
"Every man has an atmosphere which is affecting every other. Man cannot escape for one moment from this radiation of his character. This constantly weakening or strengthening of others. He cannot evade the responsibility by saying it is an unconscious influence. He can select the qualities he would permit to be radiated. He can cultivate sweetness, calmness, trust, generosity, truth, justice, loyalty, nobility, and make them vitally active in his character. By these qualities he will constantly affect the world. This radiation to which I refer comes from what a person really is, not from what he pretends to be. Every man by his mere living is radiating sympathy, sorrow, or morbidness, cynicism, or happiness or hope, or any other hundred qualities. Life is a state of radiation and absorption. To exist is to radiate. To exist is to be the recipient of radiation." -David O. McKay

more images

yeah yeah yeah. friday? yes sir.

good things: yoga. pulled pork. home teachers. temples. camping in my jeep. Return to Me. Ally. Joe's clothes. roommates. vanilla glade spray. getting lameo group projects done. pictures. happy memories. big bang theory. lamps. dishwashers. spearmint chapstick. spearmint gum. asian pears. asian rice. Amber. Ego dancing. Omi's. Feeling sore. Revolution 1. Keely's letter this week "poop. fart.". famfam. jamming. liking people. urban outfitters. cousin time. savers. colorful sharpies. not giving a crap. spooning. writing sad silly songs. handstand stanky legs. feeling extremely blatantly white. black nail polish. halloween. fall. mountains. king size beds. jumping across beds. having no tv. being upside down. the phrase "upside down". taco soup. Songs that remind me of people. clean kitchen floors. spontaneous dance parties. dead cell phone. clean teeth. tall shower heads. imagination. silky blankets. russian accents. fatty faces. not shaving. pig-latin. concerts. q-tips. sleeping in. getting up early. staying up late. editing someone else's paper and realizing that you can write pretty decent. no work wednesdays. reunions. sneezing (1/4!). Spenny singing Cath and the Girl. Joe singing Such Great Heights. Sean "this feels right". Sean "love ya". bowling down the hall. hot chocolate. G-2 pens. temporary tattoos. stinkbugs. skype. painting. water in mugs. red guitar. spike. seattle. g-ma. g-pa. cleaning other peoples room. phone calls with my mom.

sad things: things end. people leave.

thus consists the past few weeks of my life.

i'm late.

I like people who make me like them

Yesterday was the suckyest day ever. Then my cousin called me to say she was coming down, and it became the best night ever. How I love her.

lazy eye michelle


some homeless person


The above is our shared sweater Hansel Rajesh.

crazy i know

So during high school I started painting canvas shoes and giving them to friends for birthdays and stuff. People have always told me to start selling them but I've pushed it to the side. Well today my roommates came home and told me that they met someone who wants to sell them. So, I'm going to start selling my shoes at Lava Living. It's a new vintage store that opened just south of campus in Provo by Jdawgs. Yeah, uh I can't believe it! And you should all check it out (in a few weeks when my shoes are actually there). Also, I do custom paint jobs as well.
Cccheck it out.

autumn thought.

I'm sure you have heard this song. It was extremely popular several weeks ago. If you haven't heard it, very unlikely, then maybe you should take a stroll down the street more often. Get a breath of fresh air. Listen to what is going on around you. I dunno, just an idea. Anyways...this man, K'naan, wrote in his album booklet some words I thought I'd share.

His thanks:
"WAR, Warlords, Immigration, Border Guards (I see you), Metro housing projects, Drive by shooters, Police, Correctional facilities, Financial institutions, Public schools, Case workers at Social Services, Depression, Anxiety, The month of October, Solitude, Girls who's hearts I broke, Girl who broke my heart, Bad songs on the radio, That same music video that's bee playing for 8 years, power-trippin' bouncers, Promoters and Stage Managers, Radio Programmers afraid to play my songs, Headliners afraid to follow my band, just fear in general. Aggression, Inequality, Division, Brutality, Ignorance, Greed, Corporate Journalism, Lies.

I would like to say thank you to all of the above, for forcing me to create. For making me fight harder. For giving me convictions. For enabling me to see uniquely. For showing me the value of humility, the bravery of patience. I am grateful for the pain which I've derived from you, the solitude I've extracted from the brutish sensibilities of life. Of course I can't forget Mr. And Mrs. Positive. It goes without saying that you are a big part of my being. But sometimes I wonder if you in your purest form aren't really just born out of the negative yourself. "

This song and his whole platform embraces all aspects of life, vile and pure alike, with so much positive energy. great.

As Keels would say it, "positives their faces off!" :)

Break it

This morning I sat up promptly hitting my head on the shelves next to my bed. Then a computer fell on my head at work, shattering the screen. Watch out you, person who is trying to cause me brain damage. I am now watching my back...or head rather.

Goodmorning Joanna. Happy Fall.

This morning Amber wakes me up by jumping on me. It's nine. On a Saturday. Thanks for that Stinky. I was all huddled up against the cold morning in my silky blanky I stole from home only to have to torn away from me with a, "Jonieeeeeee, I'm awake and I can't go back to sleepppp! Come playyyy!" To which I quickly replied with a,"mrphhh", a resilient tug and a snuggle back into the folds of sleep. But no matter how I resisted she just persisted, this is Amber we're talking about here. Resenting only after she promised to put her Polynesian-ish to good use and make Hawaiian pancakes, I rolled out of bed. Literally. On the floor. But at least I was out.

Waking up slightly to fruity pancakes and strawberries, I started to be happy. It was a weekend after all. We were going to go to the game and maybe win after that extremely embarrassing loss last week. Quick tanget: I still can't even believe it. I considered denying BYU had a football team after that mess. We lost to Utah State! If that doesn't tell you how bad we are this year than nothing will. The defense coach got fired so now Mendenhall was up, cool (p.s. we did win hollar). Anywho...then Amber tells me we're going to the parade. Yes she's kinda bossy but it's in a good loving way.

So we walk up to the parade route, classy, in sweats and clutching our breakfast complete with hot chocolate. It ended up being quite marvelous. I recommend going to the homecoming parade cause no one goes so the people in the parade have quite an extraneous amount of candy to hand out. But watch out for Cosmo, he steals strawberries right off your breakfast plate.

Now, it's nighttime and I'm home in Ktown again. This time for a wedding. And I have lots of homework again. What else is new. So, to King Henry IV I go.

Happy Birthday John John

school school school

I loooooove several 12 hour days in a week. false. I don't.
While in the lili today I was chillin up in the fourth floor lab. Leaning back, stretching in my swivel chair, I almost fell all the way backwards cause I forgot that the chairs do literally lean almost all the way back. Then I imagined a world where I did fall backwards, pulling out my headphones in the fall process and causing "All I do Is Win" to blast across the lab (what I was currently listening to at the time) while I lay sprawled on the floor in an evident fail. Irony. I kinda maybe wished it really happened. Then I preceded to imagine the whole floor of the library breaking into a crazy dance sequence, jumping over monitors and sliding across desks. If only BYU, if only. Then I proceeded to resume studying for HofC test, which I did win at by the way.
By the way, how come the whole of byu is chuck full of davis darts?! freak, ever since I've started living on campus I see several every couple of hours. I guess believing that an hour travel time was far enough to distance myself from past peoples was setting myself up for disappointment. Go figure.
Taco Soup Time.

100 divided by 20 is 6 :) :)

It's my hundredth post and twentieth birthday! wahoo.
So last night we had that amazing feast. It was wonderful, and my friend John showed up! He flew in for conference for the weekend like Joe. Suprise! It was wonderful. so we ate until we were bursting and then we watched Mean Girls. Perfect birthday.
So I went into Ally's room after everyone had left last night, sat on her bed and started crying. haha. I don't want to grow up! It makes me really sad. I've felt my inner child getting distant cause work and school have been so time consuming and stressful. And there has been a lot of change in my life. I don't do well with change. So, that's fading and then I go and add another year to my life. It scared me:( Poor Ally haha. I'm sitting there on her bed at four in the morning crying my eyes out because it's my birthday and I don't want to grow up. Oh man, I told you this week was bad. But this experience made me do some self reflection. It made me redetermine that I'm not going to forget that part of me. It's important that it stays alive and well. I'm making it a priority in my life again, and I'm not going to forget. I'm going to be drinking chocolate milk my whole life.

And because this post was not really supposed to be all deep and reflective but just kinda turned out that way, I'm going to post a video of Ally and Joe that is silly and makes me happy. But I'll add it onto this post later cause I'm at home and forgot my camera cord.

Happy Fake Birthday to Me!

I woke up this morning covered in balloons and streamers, with the whole apartment following the same suit. We're celebrating today cause I'm going home for the weekend. I LOVE MY ROOMIES!...and Joe. Party party party. Amber made me chocolate lush, at five in the morning so i didn't see her making it and it was ready when i woke up. She also single-handedly decorated the whole apartment with streamers, balloons, notes on the walls, and writing on the mirrors. Again, she woke up at five to do this. Crazy, lovely girl. She's such a great friend, love her.

The smell is killing me! but we're not eating until Ally gets home from work at nine. Until then I must clean my room and do homework. If I can convince myself to. Who knows if it'll work cause...it IS my fake birthday you know. :) yayerz