Been Thinkin Lately

Been thinkin lately with the school year ending. There are some relationships that i'm really going to miss. I learned how to trust people and open up even more this year. That has always been a struggle and it's been something I've had to work on for the past three years. I allowed people to see me fall but they've been there to pick me up and dust me off. I have four people that I'd tell ANYTHING, and that's big for me. They know me better than I know myself. I don't know what I'd do without them. Then, there are relationships that I know if I had more time they'd become those type of above relationships. I mourn that they're not going to happen because all of those relationships are with guys and they're going on missions. Don't get me wrong because I'm super duper excited for them and super duper proud of them. I also love these lots. Next there are those relationships that I've been neglecting a little lately. These relationships are the ones that I worry about the most because these are the people that I want to keep throughout my life. These take the most work. They are still in the fist category but I'm not classifying them with those because I don't see them frequently. I still love them just as much, if not more. Second to last there are always those relationships that I really don't care what happens to them. Just being honest. I hope things turn out well for them, but I've got little emotional attachment. These relationships have occurred the least this year, when usually they're the most frequent type I have. I'm quite proud of that. Lastly, there are the relationships that I really don't care what they do. I've had very few of these in my lifetime. I don't like these types. Sadly, there are two of these living in my apartment. We've had a horrible awful drama week this week. It's been our worst fight ever because everyone got involved. It was over home-teaching. Dumb. I don't want to rant, but lets just say that these two girls SERIOUSLY have issues. Not to be rude, but I'd honestly recommend counseling.
Hmm, I've definitely learned a lot this year. My friend, one of the almost in the first types but not quite and he's going on a mission, said something to me at the vampire weekend concert. I said, "Hate is a strong word." He said,"So is love but people use it all the time."

the long awaited occurs as well as some spontaneity

Monday. I ran into someone, who must not named but that i had a thing with for two weeks then got sick of and broke his heart. I'm bad like that. Anywho so we'd kinda been avoiding each other all year, avoid the awkward right, with the occasional two sentence conversation. Then lately it's been moving more to the four or five word conversations. anyways, so i ran into said person on Monday as i was looking for a lab room that i don't usually had. So he walked all around the building with me as i tried to find it. of course i found it about 10 to 15 feet away from where i first walked, the building was a square and i went the wrong way. It was brought up that i was going to the vampire weekend concert on Thursday, he wasn't going but his brother was. Apparently, I should sell cars because I'm really good at making something sound exciting and super fun. Due to the fact that he texted me the next day saying he bought a ticket, weeell 'his brother had finally convinced him to get the ticket'. Yes, i'm selfish enough to say that i probably had a factor in this decision. Also how was i getting a ride there? Crap! Now, I'm not good at lying so I had to greatly suppress the urge to say that I riding my flying carpet there and that all the rug room was full. So, I told him that I was driving and offered him a ride. Luckily, my good friends Sean and Joe were hitching a ride as well. You better bet that I threatened Sean with swords and fireworks if he didn't call shotgun.

Thursday: So we get there! Finally, Vampire Weekend. I'd only been waiting for that show for about oh, three months. We have to wait in line, and the said boy gives me his jacket, i was grateful for him then. But I didn't offer it back to him when I could tell he was cold and say "I feel bad." like I usually would've. Rude, I know. But I was enjoying it.
So, the opening act was The Blow. If you've never heard of her, yes her just one person, go look her up. Live, preferably. She's crazy. Seriously. She did a tribute and this is how she announced it, "Now I'm going to do a tribute to all those gay boys on the dance floor who've had their hearts broken. Then they turn it into a flame." and yes, she did a tribute flame dance and at the end she said, "Don't try to imitate a gay boy, it's hard." Video will be on facebook shortly. Then she kept going on about this celebrity she was writing for, but a recent scandal prevented it from going out. It was Lindsay Lohan. And she kept saying the FUNNIEST things about her. oh. my. gosh. some of them bordered on inappropriate since the recent scandal is about her being a lesbian and going through a breakup with her lover. She's psycho. And I want her as my new best friend.

Then, between the acts this two girls come pushing their way up trying to get to the front. The people in front of me sadly wouldn't let them through so they were stuck in my side. Literally. I swear they were drunk or high or something because two people have never moved so much while talking. They were oddly touchy with each other which is also why i suspect substance use. Anyways I had my elbows out and would push back when they pushed me because dang you better believe I was not giving up my spot. I also appreciated the encouraging comments from Yoseph by my side while battling for space with these chicks. So the short girl turns to me and says, "You're rude. What's your sign?" ...my what "My what?" "Your sign. You're a Libra huh? That would make sense. When's your birthday?" So I told her, because honestly I was generally interested. "Oh, you're a Leo. That makes sense." Worst insult..I have EVER heard in my life. Amber says I should've said "What's your sign, a bi-otch?" haa oh how I wish I thought of that.

Then Vampire Weekend comes on. Oh. Baby. Instant mosh pit. Wasn't expecting that. It was my first real one ever. and it was BEAUTIFUL. THEY are beautiful. and my boys looked after me so I wasn't ever close to being killed. I love vampire weekend so much much much more. Afters we went and got Horchata's and listened to Horchata. So much Love that night. It's funny how more of this post is leading up to the wonderful. Honestly though, how do you describe something so wonderful? You can't. You just feel it.

"Music - The one incorporeal entrance
into the higher world of knowledge
which comprehends mankind but
which mankind cannot comprehend."
Ludwig Van Beethoven

Also. Saturday Night. I'd been up for doing nothing that weekend because Vampire Weekend wiped me out. Don't worry, i've got my priorities right. Vampire Weekend..then too sick for school and work haha. anywho. So Amber and I were sitting on the couch and this commercial comes on. This girl loves purple so much that she paints her whole room purple and at the end she says to her mom, "Now can I dye my hair purple?!" Amber turns to me, "Wanna dye our hair purple tonight?" I say, "ok." It was such a casual exchange, it was funny. So we went to hot topic and bought bleach and purple dye. Now I have two purple streaks in my hair. And I have to wear a huge beanie to the testing center so they'll let me in. Go BYU standards! Usually, I think this type of stuff is tacky, but I'm rather fond of my purple.

getting out the wiggles

I love the PPPPaaaaAAArrrrRRRkkk! (that was me singing)

i had a flashback to the early days just now. coming in for recess panting, sweaty, cheeks freezing yet verry very hot. love that feeling. it does wonders to wake you up and prepare you for another few hours of studyinginginginginginging.

and, that's all i have to say for now. baccccKKKK to the grind!

classic

THIS is simply marvelous.

i don't enjoy thinking up these title thingys.

at work:
-first of all it was six hours long. that's a long time.

-second of all. i got two keys stuck in key holes on campus. now we have to call the locksmith. win.

-third of all, CRAZY lady comes in at work. she breaks everything we give her, and she always manages to take our good stuff. and she asks really REALLY obnoxious questions in a constant stream of jargon. then after like twenty minutes of her asking me so many questions that i cannot even focus she says "oh and i, uh have a cab waiting" betch. haha but i'm glad she came in cause during lots of questions and pickiness i turn to dave and mouth "she's crazy" and he nods. then when she's mostly done, i tell her to pick out a mouse cause i've learned that she won't be satisfied until she's picked out one on her own. so she bends down to pick out a mouse aka hides behind a bunch of monitors. then dave looks us at me and says "so that lady this lady that was just here.." and i cut him off with "you mean the one that's STILL here....?" and he gets this suprised look and goes "no, the one that i was telling you about before with the billing problem" and we go off on this story for about five minutes. OH it was so great. hahahahaaaa.

fourth. generally a good day. but it really wasn't, yet i'm satisfied. huhm.

blah

Oh my. Looking for a major makes me feel inadequate. I look at these programs and think, i can't do any of these things. And byu is so hard! that it completely freaks me out. If I could consider anything it would be interior design BUT that isn't offered at byu only at byu-i. and i don't wanna go there. I like here. this is a great campus. with people i love. but, even if i did get into the program there, which i don't have a portfolio at all to submit, it would be another four years. which would make my college experience last six years. I could go to grad school in that same amount of time, which i think i'd rather do. oh gosh. i hate this. why couldn't there just be a big sign "PICK ME JONI MARIE STUBBS! this is what you're supposed to do the rest of your life!" yeAH, that would be nice. also i'm already a sophmore so whatever i pick, no matter what i won't be starting the program until i'm a junior. lovely. if i could major in anything, i would major in adventure. wow how wonderful would that be :)