Mostly about people, things and other things.: December 2013

I had a conversation with someone who said it took her twenty three years to really understand that the woman pictured in magazines are not raw images. That that standard women are held to these days isn't realistic. That she is beautiful how she is, and doesn't have to strive towards impossible standards to be acceptable. That she doesn't have to be a size 2, wearing perfect makeup, and complacent about everything to feel good about herself and have a man to like her.

Yes, I specifically said "a man". A real man respects a woman as his equal partner and see beauty as something that lays largely below the surface. Boys see beauty just on the surface. I was at a grocery store with a bunch of my guy friends the other day. Me and another guy went off to find something and we came back to a story. A girl had come up to one of the boys in the group and gave him her number on a napkin. When my friend asked if she was cute, he simply replied, "No." Really? I find that hard to believe. If a girl is bold enough to give her number to a boy she finds attractive, she has to have some confidence going in the looks category. Doesn't she even get some bravery points in his book? Her confidence in and of itself should at least make him a little gracious towards her. He didn't even give her that. It was like, why are YOU giving your number to ME. Needless to say, my opinion of this boy sunk a bit. Some boys can just be so darn picky about looks. Straight up shallow. I walk around campus and I'd say 99% of the girls are pretty. The guys here just seem to treat them like they're nothing. If they don't meet their beauty standards they don't even give them a chance.

Okay, so the viewpoint at BYU isn't as bad as it could be. What worries me, is that this type of attitude is a gateway that leads to a much worse one. Did you know that 1 in 5 women have been a victim of sexual assault or rape? Truth. Horrible truth. India's Central Bureau of Investigation said if rape can't be prevented it should be enjoyed. Say what?? Oh, but that's India, right. It's better here. We don't support violence and objectification of women. Hmmmn.

Here are some ads that may change your mind.

Real published ads. (except the last one, which is a meme going around facebook)

We need to band together as a people and FIGHT IT. Especially as women! If we don't respect ourselves and each other, it just gives males license to do the same. It also gives males license to judge our worth based on looks. When I was in Alaska, a news story came up on CNN. I was taking a break at Safeway with two male coworkers. We were watching the news strory, when the female newscaster said something one of my coworkers didn't agree with. Immediately he started making fun of how she looked. By making a joke of her, he was trying to invalidate what she was saying because according to him, her makeup looked clown-like. When called him out on it, saying he wouldn't have mentioned looks if it was a man, he went off about me being a crazy feminist. But it was true. That is what he was doing. I knew it and he knew it. This type of behavior, belittling what women have to say by making mention of their looks, is unacceptably common.

"Remember when Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner used the words 'large posterior' and 'big butt' to describe Michelle Obama's behind? Although he apologized afterwards, it hasn't stopped many other prominent Republicans from commenting on women's bodies. Whether it's the size of Nancy Pelosi's head or Hillary Clinton's 'cankles,' it's time that conservative men (and Democrats too) finally butt out (pun intended) of the business of women's looks.

Why does this sexism in politics matter? Because it can cost a candidate her race. A study conducted in 2010 found that when a female candidate was attacked with chauvinistic language, she lost twice as much support as an attack without sexist undertones, even when the language was largely toned down.

So sexism doesn't just hurt our feelings, it can harm our electoral potential too. And it's discrimination. This kind of below-the-belt attacks should never be tolerated in a modern society that treats everyone equally. Keep it classy. Attack us on our ideas, not our gender." (Quote found on this article)

Case in point. I recommend this article and extend the title of "Republican Men" to "Every Person" as this language is present from both genders of all political parties. Key moments from the article also include when Greg Abbott referred to Wendy Davis as a "retarded barbie" or Todd Akin's comment about "legitimate rape".

LETS STOP IT PEOPLE.

Stop with the negative comments! Lets even stop a second and think before we give women compliments about their looks. I get sick of hearing about how skinny I've gotten. I love my curves! It's like people are trying to condition a "good behavior" of weight loss by rewarding me with vocal praise. First off, step off. Second, I am so much more that my looks! If all we do is praise women about their looks soon that's all the value they will see in themselves. This video is an incredible slam poem about "shrinking women"

I love so many things about this video.

Can't we all just stop saying sorry before we offer up our opinion or a question!?

Instead of all these negative stereotypes, labels, names and standards being constantly forced on women:

Let us be remember that a group of female senators including Elizabeth Warren were key to the final deal that ended the government shutdown.

Let us reject the idea that every girl is a princess and say instead that every girl is an inventor! This is the most spectacular ad. If I had a daughter. I would totally buy her this. (My view on princesses, gender stereotypes and compliments about looks that flood young girls is a whole other blog post I won't go into)

Let us encourage men to be like John Legend who declared himself a feminist then said, "All men should be feminists. If men care about women's rights the world will be a better place [...] We are better off when women are empowered — it leads to a better society." He then followed saying that he admires and doesn't fear strong women. Which I really cheered at because I have been told several times that I "intimidate guys because you are strong and that is why you don't get asked out on dates, honey." Thankss for that..

Let us remember this video and give it the cheers it deserves for opening up a conversation:

Included in this, let us also remember that though Miley Cyrus behaved in an explicit way, so did Robin Thicke, especially as a married man, twice her age.

And because I'm a Beyonce enthusiast (I held her hand, story to come later), lets remember that Queen Bey said this, "I guess I am a modern-day feminist. I do believe in equality. Why do you have to choose what type of woman you are? Why do you have to label yourself anything? I'm just a woman and I love being a woman."

I picked and chose from this article.

Here are some more things I've been reading and watching lately: